How Do You Divorce in a Calm Manner? 

 July 7, 2022

You’ve tried over the years, but nothing seems to work. We understand that you’d want to leave your marriage. However, how can you broach the subject of divorce with your partner without offending them or igniting a conflagration? “The ideal approach to ask for divorce” does not exist.

When a client tells their spouse that they are divorcing, they often seek advice from Foothill Ranch Family Law on keeping the situation amicable. With little preparation, one can make a problematic discussion go a bit more easily when you ask for a divorce:

  • Get Yourself Ready

Knowing where your partner is emotional might make all the difference when bringing up the subject of divorce.

Your spouse is blissfully unaware, right? No, I don’t believe she’s as miserable as you are. Is this the first time the “D” term has been spoken or is it something completely new?

It’s helpful to know whether or not your spouse is aware that you’re considering divorce to predict how the spouse will respond. For assistance sorting through your thoughts and being ready for the conversation, you can consider seeing a therapist or a couple’s counselor. To help you prepare for the divorce talk, they may assist you in “role play” and even advise you on what to say.

  • Select An Appropriate Location And Appropriate Time

Before bringing up the subject of divorce, be sure the time is suitable. The timing of a divorce petition is essential.

To avoid disrupting your children and involve them inside an adult discussion, determine where when this talk should start happening and prepare to speak while your children are out of the house. There is no ideal moment to declare that you are divorcing your spouse, but there are certain circumstances in which it is better than others to do so. There are times when you might also want to wait again until the individual has dealt with personal difficulties, such as a loss at work or the loss of an ancestor, before reaching out. Your news may be overshadowed by other events in the person’s personal life.

Also, choose a location where you won’t be disturbed and can talk at your own pace. At home, in a counselor’s office, or a quiet café, this may happen at any time.

  • Keep Calm For The Sake Of Your Children

Children can be traumatized by seeing their parents fighting. They will have a better chance of navigating whatever may seem to be an unpredictable future once they understand that you can cooperate to terminate your marriage quietly. Make it clear to your children that you are working together as a team to raise them, rather than fighting over them.

  • Be A Gentle Person, But Also A Firm One

How you inform your husband that you wish to divorce them might significantly impact the course of the divorce proceedings. Your spouse may still not take your desire for divorce as seriously if you bring it up in a polite, calm, considerate, and courteous when you’re furious and upset.

Recall that you’ve already spent a significant time contemplating and planning for a split from your spouse. Your spouse is more than likely not aware of this. If your choice to file for just a divorce arrives out of the dark, they may need some space for the reality of your option to set in.

  • Let Them In On The Story

Listen about them without speaking. They may want to discuss marital therapy or other strategies to salvage it. Give them a voice and a chance to speak. To maintain a peaceful atmosphere, you don’t need to agree with them.

  • Be Compassionate And Forgiving

They may not be in favor of the split. They may feel afraid, angered, or saddened by this. Because of this, they may think you have to give up on the relationship. Listen attentively to what they say and try to see things from their point of view. A divorce has been on your mind for some time now. Haven’t they? Having little time to contemplate or plan for a divorce, people may feel caught off guard. Keeping the peace will be easier if you show some consideration for how they have been feeling.


Consider the collaborative approach if you want the divorce to go well. Contact a communication expert now for more information.


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